Colonel Mustang
by Rouge Winter
Summary: Yaoi. RoyEd. OneShot and PWPish. Ed comes to Central and Roy treats him to dinner. Ed then notices that Roy isn’t the only famous Colonel in Central anymore. Light M


**Colonel Mustang**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything FMA or KFC.  
Warning: Yaoi which means do not read if m/m offends you.  
Pairings: Roy/Ed and implied Al/Winry.  
Summary: Ed comes to Central and Roy treats him to dinner. Ed then notices that Roy isn't the only famous Colonel in Central anymore.  
GA: I wrote, typed and posted this up in a day (while I'm sick!) as a gift fic to Xia Mei coz it's her birthday today yay! Actually this started off because she saw my gmail avatar of Mustang in the KFC outfit along with my status which wrote 'Finger Lickin' Good -purr-' and challenged me yesterday to write a fic where Mustang uses the phrase. Hope you like. XD

* * *

"Colonel." The blonde officer said with her usual air of profession as she approached her commanding officer's desk, heavy folder in hand. After giving a salute as her customary greeting, she handed over the documents.

"These are the files you requested on the recent string of robberies occurring here in Central, the witness reports and the profiles of the victims."

"Thank you Lt. Hawkeye. Just place them on my desk." The dark haired male had stood up and was already shrugging on his overcoat.

"Sir." The female second-in-command blinked as she saw the man pocket his gloves and check his watch before placing it into his pocket as well. "Are you going off on another date again?"

Normally Riza Hawkeye did not address her commanding officer in such an overbearing manner; however in private and where she knew Roy Mustang normally allowed friendly exchanges such as these was where she dared to question his intentions freely. Roy, not missing the slight edge in his lieutenant's voice and knowing that she would be pulling out her gun soon, just shrugged and gave his trademark smirk.

"Perhaps. . ." He whispered knowingly with a wink and walked towards the door. "I trust you to keep things in order while I'm gone lieutenant." With that, Colonel Roy Mustang, resident playboy and charmer extraordinaire left a disbelieving Hawkeye in his wake.

* * *

The figure checked his watch for the last time and smiled as he heard the familiar whistle of the 5:15 train. Just as the second hand reached the 12 on the alchemist's pocket watch, the engine had pulled to a complete stop in the station. Roy always trusted the 5:15 line to deliver.

The army officer leaned against a post, arms crossed and made sure that his charming smile was in place as he waited for a certain blonde state alchemist to emerge among the throng of people arriving in Central. He spotted the familiar braid and red coat a few aisles down.

"There you are Fullmetal." The teasing voice came from behind, making Ed turn to the source. "I couldn't find you without your tall brother standing out of the crowd."

Edward glared at the older male. "I just came back and already with the nasty comments. You must really miss me." Roy was rather impressed that Ed managed to keep his cool. "Although Bastard Colonel, it might be because you need glasses. Old age catching up to you I take it?"

_Touché. _ Roy thought with a smirk.

"Ah but Ed. . . At least I can still rectify my shortcomings." The dark haired officer emphasised the word **short** and knew, by the looks of the younger alchemist, that he was about to implode.

Being the gentleman that he is, Roy took the initiative to change the topic.

"But really, where is Alphonse?"

Ed seemed to calm down at the question and blinked as he tried to answer. "Ah, I left him in Risembool. I just needed to check something in the Central City Library before heading out again, which shouldn't take too long. I'll just pick him up on the way."

Roy caught the slight tinge of red on the teen's cheeks. "I decided that Al needed some time off. Winry didn't seem to mind."

Ed gave a small frustrated sigh after. "That and do you know how much they charge me for his train fare when we travel? They always want me to pay Al by the kilo."

Roy eyed his young apprentice and noticed how those golden eyes darkened as if showing the blonde's intentions of unending pain to the next conductor who suggests his brother be treated as luggage.

"Ed." The Colonel said with a sigh that the blonde imagined was how fathers scolding their sons sounded. "You know if you're short on cash you can always come to me."

Ed heard the 'S' word but let it slide for now.

"Are you joking Colonel Bastard?" A fine brow rose. "You're probably the stingiest guy I know. If I left my finances to you, I'd probably be better of walking to and from Central."

Roy laughed aloud. "Now that, Fullmetal, doesn't sound like a bad idea." Ed paled significantly at the thought.

Roy only chuckled at the reaction he got before turning to leave. The people in the station had lessened considerably which meant it was time to go.

"Come on Fullmetal." The Flame Alchemist called without turning back as he walked off. "Let's go grab dinner, my treat. How does fast food sound?"

Ed, who had just caught up with the older male with his suitcase in hand, panted slightly before responding. "See? You ARE a cheapskate!"

* * *

"Who would have thought that new fast food place had so many people?" Roy commented as he walked into his officer's quarters.

Ed had graciously kept the door open since the older male had his hands full carrying their dinner. They had to opt for take out because the place was packed. That and Ed, although he will never admit it, did not want the entire female population present in the newly opened place to keep fawning over the Colonel and disturbing their dinner. Thankfully Mustang had some presence of mind to suggest they just eat at his place.

Setting the containers on the small table that Roy uses for his meals, he went into his kitchenette to get some plates.

"Make yourself at home Fullmetal." He called from inside. That was the last Ed heard before the sound of running water took over.

The blonde placed his suitcase down and allowed himself to look around the apartment. It had the same set up as the one he shares with his brother but it was slightly bigger given the Colonel's status.

He plopped himself on the bed and frowned a bit. The bastard's bed was softer than his. He was about to go through the list of possibilities as to why Mustang had such a comfortable mattress but decided for the sake of his innocence that he'd better stop that train of thought before it went off track.

He toed off his black boots to give him something to do while waiting for the other male. It wasn't long after his right shoe hit the floor did the sound of water stop.

The Colonel came back into the main room and set the table. Ed had only noticed then that the Flame Alchemist had shed off his overcoat and blue army uniform and instead settled for just wearing the white undershirt with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up.

Ed had stood and started to walk over to the table but the other male motioned for him to sit down again.

Mustang carefully moved the table and the items on top closer to the blonde before sitting beside the young state alchemist on the bed. The space was just enough for them to fit comfortably with their legs touching from hip to knee.

"I apologise the setting isn't up to par." The dark haired male said as he placed a plate and a piece of chicken in front of Ed. "I don't have people over for dinner often."

The blonde thanked the male for the food but somehow couldn't stop from thinking cynically about that statement. Mustang might not have guests over for dinner but that doesn't mean he never has any over during other. . . circumstances.

He shook his head to clear it and partially to try to rid the blush he knew was present. If Roy noticed, he didn't say anything.

* * *

Dinner consisted of the two exchanging stories, catching up on recent events and a couple of choice words courtesy of the younger state alchemist when the dark haired male stole the part Ed liked. With a pout, the blonde settled for a leg piece instead.

Golden eyes blinked and narrowed though as he leaned forward to catch a better look of the name printed below the image on the take out bucket. Ed **really** tried his best not to laugh.

Roy raised an eyebrow as he turned to see his young protégé flop down on the bed, arms hugging his waist and breathing coming in short bursts as the blonde continued laughing. Black eyes blinked and the Colonel placed his piece down before wiping his oily fingers and turning towards Ed.

"What's so funny Edward?" The braided teen's laughter slowly died down but the smile that lingered showed how amused Ed still thought of the situation.

"Look at . . . the name . . . on the bucket." Ed went into a fit of giggles once again while Mustang realised what was written there.

With a dismissive snort and his trademark smirk in place, Roy leaned over the still chuckling teen and pinned him with a heated gaze. That still didn't deter Ed from his giggles.

"I can just imagine you posing for that in a couple more years Colonel Bastard. By then the white hair would have come naturally and you'd be perfect for it." Roy raised an eyebrow and smiled since he found nothing seriously offensive with Ed's usual teasing banter. (Well perhaps other than the male suggesting he would retain his position as Colonel till his hair turned white. . . )

"Oh, you find that funny do you Fullmetal?" The wide grin on the younger male's lips was answer enough.

"As tempting as the prospect of having my face in every outlet and earning millions because of my ability to attract the female populace sounds, I would rather settle with my current humble position as your Colonel."

"How noble of you." Golden orbs rolled but the amused smile remained. "Oh well if the military doesn't work out, at least you can go into advertising as back up."

"I'll keep that in mind." Roy whispered but did not move away from Ed.

The younger alchemist's eyes blinked and a blush quickly reddened his cheeks.

"Um. . . R-Roy?" He sounded a bit unsure He almost jumped when he felt the Colonel's hand running up his thigh.

"Wh-what do you think you're doing?!" The colour of his cheeks darkened when he heard the familiar sound of his zipper being pulled down.

"Enjoying my dinner of course." Mustang said it so casually that Ed would have punched the man if it weren't for the hand gently caressing the blonde alchemist through his underwear.

Roy smirked at the groan that followed and leaned down to nip lightly on the teen's nape. His hand slowly massaged the growing bulge while Roy indulged in the soft whimpers and light writhing of the body below.

"R-Roy. . ." Ed tried to bite back a moan.

"D-dinner will get cold." He tried to reason with his commanding officer one last time.

"But Edward, I already have my main course right here and exactly how I want him." The possessive and delicious tone that lined the Colonel's words was enough to push rational thought to the farthest corner of the blonde's head and allow room for lust to seep in.

Of course the hand that now weaved past his underwear helped too.

Hands encased in white gloves, one human and one automail, pulled against the Colonel's white undershirt as Ed tried to gain some semblance of control on the situation.

For the next few moments only the sound of Ed's heavy breathing, the rustle of fabric and the light creak of Mustang's mattress was heard before the blonde state alchemist was sent over the edge. Once he reached completion, a light shiver ran down his spine as he arched up towards the older alchemist.

The dark haired male continued to stroke Ed, relishing in the final spasms of the body below and the moans of ecstasy that came from those luscious lips.

"Mmm. . . Finger lickin' good." When he heard the male purr, heavy lidded golden eyes opened just in time to see the unfazed officer lick a drop of white pearly liquid from the tip of his middle finger in a manner that should be banned from the public.

It was then Ed decided perhaps keeping Colonel Mustang away from the fast food industry was a good idea lest parents complain of the amoral values that one smirk held.

Of course the fact that Ed never really liked to share was taken into account too.

"We should order take out more often." Roy said with a smile that held his usual charm.

Ed snorted and pulled the older alchemist down for a kiss.

"Yes. . . We should."

The rest of the night was spent finishing their meal.

Although the chicken and the smiling Colonel Sanders bucket remained untouched till the next morning.

* * *

My headache is killing me. (sniffles) Xia Mei I hope you appreciate this. If I die from the common cold I will haunt you forever.

Gunning Angel


End file.
